Bubbles

Bubbles
mutually exclusive spheres
flit
and burst.
silent volcanoes.

Unsaid

It's not
that I'm adamant.
Let all that's
unsaid,remain
in the lagoon ripples.
Not to be tresspassed.
Because,if I were to
write down the lyrics,
we might not agree on
the notes composed.
And your guileless
fury might over turn
the canoe,and
we become the feast
the innocent death delivers
to the beast beneath.

morning auto ride

The sea and the sky are

neatly folded in the almirah.

Starched,dry cleaned,

sari, ironed stiff.

The meticulous square

for a paper dance game,

rests shielded

from the monsoon mold

in a layer of silica gel.

The cold rain of the yester night,

warming listless thoughts

in the early morning auto.

The silly breeze sneaks

through the hair,pulling taut.

Chills the  eyes,

Peppy kajal.

Lungs all puffed up

with the minty air.

Pawn that sari
to make the meter run

until the sun evaporates

all of the early morn.

Whose Gender Is It Anyway

I came across a disgruntled and fiery verbal out pour in  a social networking site. I
plead ignorance to the intended target of the abuse,thanks to the generous  spate of insensitivity, the diction read a lot like...blah blah blah..this is not a shikandi prasthanam...blah blah blah..aanum pennum kettatu..blah blah blah To get a better picture,I forced a second read. It was a frustrated venting on what could be called as " lack of spine".The venting itself is perfectly justified,and there is ample place for that in many forums.But my question is,what is with the  usage like 'aanum pennum kettatu' or shikandi in the context of being 'cowardly./confused'. Such usages are outright  sexist,and demeaning of ones identity.Words covertly meaning transgender are used as a handy slur in agitated grumblings.The transgender identity is a dignified a state,of mind and body as much as that of a male or a female.Identity is each one's right.

A few days back,while waiting for an appointment,I got to see a kannada film.The 15 minutes comprised of a rather imposing transgender,dressed in a glitzy sari,flowers adorning the long plated hair,a large bindi.A side kick to the villain,she is  a conniving shrewd.The flinging of hair,the grimace,the walk,all captured in an all too familiar  slow motion.This is an oft-repeated scene in mainstream cinema,across the border.For one,this  is stereotype on mannerisms.More cynical is  that, the 'non-conformity' of transgender is equated with negative characteristics.As far as the audience goes,it requires a conscious effort from their part to question such narratives.But,mostly they remain complacent.So,the message that sticks with them is only the 'obvious'--transgender=non-confirmity=bad.There are some empathetic portrayals in the films of recent years on the hardships and discrimination faced by them.That is a sure welcome to counter the stereotype.

 Recently , a  teen was ruthlessly murdered after he was discovered to be a transgender..He was brutally mobbed,and the parents wouldn't claim the body for the shame it entailed.Though this happened in Africa,we in india, don't have many reasons to pride ourselves.They are ostracized and many a times cast away from their hometown. They build  their own communities,more often in big cities.The mostly held perception among my friends in Bangalore is based only on the  brief encounters with them at the traffic stops.For the urban crowd,they are just a group who sing and clap and ask money at the signals.

What remains hidden is the lack of oppurtunity and the discrimination  meted out, making it hard for them to get a career available to the 'normal' people.Many are driven to earn a living as sex workers.Bangalore's Majestic subway is a known 'pick-up' point.They proceed callously,through the hussle and bustlle.Right there,is the vicious circle operating,and it could very well remain the same for decades.Where the identity itself isn't acknowledged,all other things become secondary.Volunteer organisations often bring to light are many instances where they are denied timely attention in hospitals,citing lame excuses as to which ward are they to be accommodated. They often need the assistance of NGOs to assert the basic rights available to 'normal' citizens.In the majority of  application forms and in legal transactions,there is place only for an M or an F within the boxes! Of course,it can be left unfilled but it speaks volumes about the 'don't ask don't say' policy'. This absence  intimidates  even those who want to come out of the closets.

For the very reason that it's exclusionist,the main stream gender perception is problematic.Its always aligned with binary of male/female  as is taught in the biology classes. .The 'he' and 'she' reproduce to make,again, a male or a female.Simple.Binary.Life goes on.Since the male and the female is dealt extensively at the secondary levels in schools, at the least,it warrants an acknowledgement of transgender as a different possibility.Thinking that I might be proved wrong,I set out to explore my 9th grader niece's biology text.But,I wasn't.Nothing much has changed since my schooldays in this respect.I don't  find the term in her book,although it deals  with the other two genders profusely. She tells me that slurs meaning to be transgender are something they use to poke fun at each other.Intentionally or otherwise, an identity is reduced to an adjective or a slur.True, that transgender is a complex topic and is an umbrella term accommodating many differences.But,does that justify the omission,which is a scientific reality? The text books also follow a silent policy which goes  hand in hand with a society obsessed with the binary.The  secretive and mystery element feeds unto itself,making way for much demeaning and insensitive behavior.Open discourses will have to proceed with legal concurrence in acknowledging the transgender identity and  mitigating the negative construct of the majority imposed on them.

The Meeting

I, will be clothed.
So you can unclothe me.
The phantoms of
beautiful inventions,
Drench in the grass scent.
Apricot Summer.


Pretenses fall,
one by one,
like leaves in harmony.
Lucid vapors disappear.
Through the clocked embrace,
the elms warp endlessly.