Thursday, 12 December 2013

The Graduates



Christmas vacation is here and with it, the last quarter of the academic year. There is pride and excitement in children’s talk about next year. But, the last quarter is something like a sprint to complete portions, intense coaching, revisions and mock tests.  Starting from somewhere around half year, the co-scholastic periods will unceremoniously disappear, confiscated...by a science teacher, a maths teacher etc. It is the same story from my school days unfolding before me. And by the looks of it, this will unmistakeably continue all through my children's school years. By then they are subtly convinced of the superseding importance of some subjects and the unimportance of some others. The “holistic approach”, “all round development” etc, boasted in the beginning is tossed to oblivion.

In midst of this, there is a widespread consensus, especially among the middle class who can afford the luxury of private schools to depart from the traditional rote learning, and search for something progressive. The need for reforming the education system is discussed extensively in school forums and elsewhere .As if to cater to the demands in vogue, private schools have mushroomed with catchy bill boards of smiling, happy children that greet us on    road sides. They quote the latest research, say, on multiple intelligences in big colourful prints. The pre-K and the kindergarten sector have indeed boomed, though others are not far behind. The parents considering themselves amongst the forward thinkers flock to open houses, carnivals and other crowd attracting events held by the new generation schools. The coordinator dons a marketing cape, and talks about making the children independent, the development of their inherent intelligences, their sensory and cognitive skills. Impressive. And, I worked in one of those. They seemed to be practicing what was preached, nevertheless, things started to take a turn after the 1st term.  Some parents started fretting that their children couldn’t write while t their neighbours’ children could.  “They were far ahead”, I was told..I explained how it works, .but I could see that they were not getting convinced. This began to have a domino effect...and the school, considering parents’ opinion revamped their curriculum. In fact the school was trying not to lose children and future admissions..I am not sure who the real hindrance was; the school for not standing firm, or the parents, who feel insecure about their children, when someone else starts writing 6 months earlier. The initial talks of being progressive are reduced to some catchy phrases in posters. A routine request I used to get about the 4-6year olds is, could you tell where exactly my son/daughter stand in the class. When told that comparing with other children is a negative approach, the next question, oh, then, would my child come within the first 5?

The irony is that when progressive is the buzzword in talks, the quiet thought that run in the mind is, how can the "result" be ignored? Otherwise why are the top scores of various schools enquired with tenacious veracity? .The admissions in much sought after schools are over months in advance of the academic year, and reserving seat a year ahead is also suggested. Parents brave long winding queues to buy the application forms, on top of that pull strings, according to their liaison with those in power to secure a school admission. The desire to be progressive at the same time, being unable to free from the hold of 'result'/mark oriented system, calls for introspection on, how genuine are we to the cause of learning. Caught in the conflicting pull of what we are and what we want to be, children end up in the losing end.

Its often repeated by educationists, that our system is a ghost of the colonial era, that if it made administrative officials and clerks then, it is now reduced to a portal to secure a certificate. The quality and relevance of the content is another issue altogether. Reforming the content requires copious research to come up with time relevant curriculum. Presently, to an average mind it occurs as if too much information is poured in   without a respite for what is inside to come forth. Nevertheless, CBSE...in conjunction with NCERT..,ICSE etc .have been trying to make changes in the way children are being evaluated. Evaluation in itself is a complicated subject, and in the recent years they have come up with a range of parameters spread through the year, as opposed to examination being the final verdict on the child. Parents of some secondary school children explained how and why these good intentions fail at the level of execution. For one, there is a rat race to churn out the coveted results which form the basis of future admissions. Many prominent schools, condense the 9th syllabus, tweak  things here and there, brush aside subjects deemed not-so-important, so that 10th portions can be started in the 9th itself. Picking from the parental aspirations, many schools have integrated coaching classes for iit/engg in the school hours. What are we training the children for, cracking competitive exams? And some 'techno' schools advertise their ' iit foundation curriculum’, and cannot afford any co-scholastic hours .To think  that the children attending such schools made a conscious and free decision is a stretch of imagination. I remember reading an article on sending children of 6th std for coaching classes during vacation, and the words of the parent paraphrased reads--- it’s for expanding my daughter’s knowledge, but I would really like her to do medicine. At the end of it, students they toe along with aspirations not theirs.

We are asking for a system where brain is treated as some kind of a memory device, crammed with data. As long as the schools cater to the misplaced expectations and aspirations, they continue fomenting those while children bear the brunt. Education has become synonymous with mounting pressure with every passing of year. In a sense, as a society we are desensitized to the reports on students taking lives after results are published, behavioral problems on account of pressure and tension to perform consistently well. Holding on to attitudes rewarding correctness over original thinking, accuracy over creativity will only prolong the existing scenario. Perhaps we should see ourselves as the part of a problem and rethink our expectations from education for reforms to occur or to create a conducive environment for  executing the little that is being done.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

double helix



double helix
twirl  anti spin.
tangential rays
scrape,
stars    and
dust     and
rubies  and
kisses   and
glass debris
uproot
water hyacinth crest.
warm lake,
strewn 
tumultuous spangles,
the fabled one of
bedtime tales
sleeps
in its page.

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Of Stomach and Seas

Sight of excess and want juxtaposed, is just one of the myriad contradictions that India breathes naturally.In the case of this resort,by virtue of its secluded location,it appears private though it is the livelihood to a few of the local fishermen.The tourist season had not quite begun,it was only the 1st week of October.The absence of a buzzing crowd and verandahs with many a wet beach towels added to the sense of exclusiveness. The sea was rough for the children and the fishermen gave us words of caution several times.Notwithstanding the inconvenience of drenching in the salt water in normal clothes,we went into the sea, morning and evening.The evenings were especially beautiful.

That evening,something resembling the balloon puppies made at kiddie parties by 'yours truly'-,the hired birthday clown, came wobbling towards us. Dear co-sister let out a shrill shriek."It touched me", she was gasping and jumped forward.Wow,it was a perfect lab specimen of a stomach and the intestines bobbing with the rise and crash of the waves.Perfect specimen.No tear,no wear.No trace of hunger,flesh or blood.The sea has washed it immaculately,stretched it with just the right amount of air it could hold.It was difficult to believe that it exists inside us.It must be a fisherman's.It made us uneasy..isn't it a handy word to describe  feelings we don't find  words for? It made us very uneasy.Now,after a year,thinking on that feeling,it was fear.Not only fear of death,it was a primeval fear,fear in its purest abstract. Unsettling the very core.The sea was quite in love with it,not a rupture.The immediate course of action was to call a fisherman in sight and ask him to move it to somewhere we couldn't see.In retrospect,we did good not to have acted on it.While my brother in law was telling us of the legal complications that could arise,should we touch it,I saw it touch a rock and swim back and forth in tune with the waves, majestically buoyant.The known earliest consciousness awakened, it was difficult to act normal.But,act we did.We moved away from it,the thing sumptuously fed with dutiful meals, and carried on with the discussions on the lives of fishermen.We didn't see it vanishing,we were occupied with acting normal.

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Divine Guilt of Motherhood.

Last summer holiday, I decided to take some days off from the domestic front and indulge a few days with my friends in Kerala. I boarded a passenger train from Bangalore which rambled along the folklore inspired temples along the way. My fellow occupants were travelling as a family, a lively bunch. The lady of the group was eager to engage in a conversation. The talk started with the predictable pleasantries. The inquiries on where I was going, when my return was due etc were duly answered .The curiosity also binged on my marital status, kids, and their whereabouts. Also,an attempt to find the reason for my visit was made, “must be something important to... leave the children back home?" I answered that it was just a casual visit. “My children will not stay without me”, she said, a touch of pride there.And continued that she didn't like to leave them out of her care. Does taking time out exclusively for myself, devalue being mother? Am I being irresponsible?


This casual conversation made me look at some choices women that I have come to know make. A newbie mother brought a nanny from hometown, and was back to work, the third month of birthing. As with similar instances, there was a talk on how the mother, “rushed back" to work. The “deteriorating” sense of motherhood was discussed at length. Many in the community mourned on profession becoming ‘more’ important than mothering,how mothers are becoming 'irresponsible.' It seemed that,with the onset of motherhood,it  becomes the single defining purpose of a woman, diminishing all the other facets of her personality. The notion of motherhood as the pervasive function of women after birthing needs to be refuted .It is one of the many experiences of being a woman. In comparison, nobody questions the other facets of a male, with the arrival of fatherhood. The lopsided patriarchal view judges of women who choose to return to their profession or interest 'soon',as being negligent of  their duty.


In practical terms, birthing is a transformational phase. To the women with other interests/career, it necessitates a decision regarding the time needed to be away from those.It could range from a few weeks, months or a few years. There is no right choice per se, the focus is on the mother's assertion, and her voice playing a part in the consensus, without the ‘guilt’ that many women say they feel. Of late, the guilt factor has become the cause for anxiety and frustration among the working mothers who are expected to hit the perfect family-work balance. The woman is constantly evaluated on how dutiful a mother she is, and also on how good she is in taking care of the domestic sphere. The hig bar set  makes woman feel deficient and guilty.


There is another friend who went back to work after a gap  of 4years.She was bogged with many 'after' and 'before' comparisons .Comments abound on how she was more attentive to children then, and now, not exactly being so. There are a few things deferred, some short cuts in cooking , add to it being “impatient”.Why is there an ‘evaluation’ of this sort on the female? Resolutely, the domestic role is ingrained in the social psyche as the role of the female, that should she adopt it as her only priority, questions are hardly asked. But, by being a professional woman, it seems, she just added something more to the domestic role. Right there comes the golden standard of the family-work benchmark.. with a healthy dose of being a ‘good’ mother. Two female colleagues of my sister, turned down promotion citing stress, ”managing children  and profession” as the reason.Many women fret that they simply ‘fall short’ of what they should be,and feel guilty about it.And hence,it is easier to forgo promotion and settle for something lesser.I recall an instance where the wife had gone out of town for a job requirement,and the husband had to take care of the kids,and of course his work.She was telling me about how the well wishers were sympathising with the husband and being impressed by the graciousness.She did make it a point,to reply that it was something that she had done before.But,she confided,that at some points,she felt that it was a wrong decision from her part. The self doubt did get to her. 





This anxiety/frustration has a lot to do with the romanticised version of motherhood.Recall the sea-of-benevolence ‘good’ mother characters in  films and serials, the kind, ever patient, always -putting- herself- last, types. Such behavioral norms are perpetuated in the patriarchal hegemony, so much so that women continue to 'measure' themselves according to the glorified definition.The unnatural reverence of motherhood does more harm than good by setting unattainable goals. Many a times,women find themselves caught in apologetic and defensive explanation of their choices.The feeling of 'guilt' is unfounded.Women need to stop being harsh on themselves, and reject the unsolicited ‘evaluations’ of their ‘performance’.Its essential to debunk the myth of the perfect mother and reject the need for approval from patriarchal definitions.  The neat 'order' that comes within the mystified perception of motherhood serves only as an utopian ideal.The family dynamics need to renegotiated in the private sphere.The woman should assert her intellectual aspirations, the many facets that make her personality and engage in interests that nourish the spirits, even if it gets chaotic or ruffle some feathers.

Trick

Behold ! behold !!
The magician
extracting colours
out of his mouth.
Paper crepes never ending
yellow,purple,fuchsia
fuchsia,purple,yellow.
Yellow,the bile.
The jeering children
haven't learnt it yet.

The tricks perfect
Wring out the intestines
small and large
all of it's length
the infested stomach
The slick sick bile
The inside,out.

Monday, 25 November 2013

A Flash

Glimpses arrive cradled
in fleeting  repose.
Shimmering peacock feathers
rippling canopy over
million paper boats
surfing seas.

Pecking crows

Voracious crows

Peck  the crumbs.

Vegetable eternity.